im not strong enough

salam.sori this week a bit sorrow coz im really-really feel frustrated with myself. yeah, i just realized that i have been too desperate to chase someone that don't loving u anymore. know why im doing this?because im really- really damn fall in love and i just noticed it after I lost him from my side :(

eventhough ade yang kate.."ko ni watpe nak kejar orang yang dah taknak ngan ko?carik lain je" or "malu la weh..pompuan yang kejar laki" yeah..memang sebenarnye senang orang nak cakap tapi once bila orang tue dah experienced it. u will feel how hard it is. and yes, memang orang slalu cakap.biar lah perigi carik timba. tapi sekarang ni pe salahnye timba cari perigi if u know that guy is really meant for you plus it is your fault that caused him run away from you. salah seorang kene tolak ansur and mengalah dalam hal ni rite if u guys really love each other. 

aku mengaku dulu aku sangat2 ego and tak kisah pon kalo putus ngan bf. coz i already set in my mind! "ah, banyak lagi laki lain.watpe aku nak abiskan air mata pasal jntan je?" so, sedeyh kejap je then after a few months dah ade peganti. sgt senang kan? bukan tak sayang dengan yang lama tapi sebenarnye ego punye psal and yet tak nak layan sangat perasaan! memang bole mati kalo over depressed wooo!

but now i just noticed the changes in myself after i know this guy. i dont know why but i cant stop myself to tackle his heart back. kind of silly because i sacrificed everything for him just to make sure that he knows that i do loves him from the bottom heart. i never stop trying and trying again to win his heart back..and thanx to previous experiences that i got an idea from my exes  who are trying to do the same thing with me.huhuh..

my friend had told me before.." u will never appreciated the thing that u have until u had lost it forever." and he were right.........no matter ugly the thing is.no matter lame the thing is.no matter broke the thing is. just appreciated it while u can or u will regret it for the rest of your life.

ps: still hoping the bright side will appeared soon. :) btw, how many "really" words that i've been using in this entry??omjay~~